Stuck ...

"Move on."
my friends tell me
and I'd just smile -
a smile that just doesn't
reach my eyes
and I'd laugh
albeit hollowly
and in a voice ringing
with false conviction,
I'd even dare say,
"what for?
everything's so yesterday.
I am now over him."

But who am I fooling?

I'm stuck
in that place
where there's still an us
I'm helpless
so desperate that I refuse
to wake up
choosing to instead
be in a dream
than in an empty bed
with only my tears
for company.

It's not that
I don't want to move on
I do try
but something
seems to always
remind me of you -
little and big things
that the more I blot out,
the more they seem
to taunt me with their
presence.

Much like your omnipresence.

I'm stuck
and a way out
is nowhere to be found
for even my own mind
and heart betray me.

What's worse
than not moving on?

It's being stuck here
left alone to fend for myself
and still loving the jerk
who's responsible
for all this mess ...